BatRed
by NotEnoughred
Summary: Tallest Red is now Batman, Tallest Purple is gone, and Lard Nar is constructing a secret ghost battle against the smeeteries. Who will WIN. Romance, betrayal, suspense, GHOST CATS. Tune in to discover the SHOCKING secret behind the alien in the mask.


BatRed.

—-Chapter 1 —-

The sounds of the brutal fight around them began to ring in Tallest Red's antenna even more, and he hardened his stare, reaching out his large gun in front of him. This was the final stand, or so they thought, them and the irken empire against the many resistance groups that had banded up throughout the years. Ever since the unfortunate loss of control of the massive all those years ago, one rebel group had managed to escape, and that group had ended up the worst of them all; The Resisty. Various heinous crimes had been committed by them not ONLY against the empire, but against any kind of moral code at all. They were so bad that even the slaughtering rat people turned in their graves.

Because they tortured and used the weaker as means for any of their succession.

Aqua

But Tallest Red was aware of this. And with the guys unmatchable intelligence he just knew that even behind all of this…incessant and life-wasting bloodshed were a group of stupid aliens who refused to acknowledge when they were bested. And refused to accept the truth that Irken's superiority. Red would almost feel sorry for the group if not for how absolutely disgusting he found them, and especially its leader; Lard Nar.

Lethal laser-shots were heard from around the once empty void of the universe, irkens and rebels dropping like dying buzzing gliders doused in poison. The Tallest,of course, were in the front line. Nothing was going to quash this allegiance, and of course amazing heroism that their tall bodies even struggled to keep inside. And although donned in typical attire expected of elitist soldiers, even this was far too humble for them.

But they didn't care.

Because it wasn't going to stop fighting even if their armour was brutally taken from them.

Tallest purple moved the side, his machinated laser drilling down a row of unsurly defectives, while Tallest Red decided to fight straight on. Red moved it the heat of the crowd, his laser slicing down numerous rebels like a carving knife. And that's when he saw it.

Amidst the heat of the battle a tiny, green eyed glassessed figure holding a blaster entered his peripheral, and he turned around quickly. But not quick enough.

The appearance of pink blood suddenly floated in front of him.

But wait, why didn't this hurt? Shouldn't he be writhing in pain? Maybe the blaster wasn't as effective as he tho—–

A bleeding Tallest Purple floated past him, and he stopped fighting for just a moment, holding his Tallest counterpart in his arms. Although Red was usually an incredibly composed irken, he couldn't help but letting tears run down his face.

"Purple? Oh IRK are you alright? We can fix this, you know, we can get some medicals here and they'll fix right up and —" Red was cut off by Purples own dying words.

"Hey, don't feel sad. No, in fact , feel very sad! I might be dying here! But you have to do this yourself, Red. Finish them off. For the empire!" Purple let out a few bloody coughs, it staining into the other Tallest's armour.

"Just…don't eat my snacks, ok? They're still mi—" Purple closed his eyes.

He was dead.

He was….dead? He was ACTUALLY DEAD?

Tallest Red had known this guy for YEARS! He had been friends with him ever since they were in the smeeteries together, they had trained together, they had made decisions together, they ATE SNACKS TOGETHER. They made fun of Zim together.

And now he was gone.

Forever.

Tallest Red couldn't keep these feelings under control any longer, and his sadness suddenly transversed into anger. A violent anger. Anger that was brimming at the rim of his very being. His face was scowling more than he ever thought possible.

These rebels messed with the Tallest for the last time.

What happened next was something even onlookers couldn't properly describe. Red was just…lasering everyone around him in huge dying rows at such a mad speed that you couldn't even properly make out the guy features anymore, until the rebels were nothing more than a mass of floating bodies.

He had left Lard Nar until last, of course, and sliced his laser straight through the middle of his silly looking glasses. The resisty was finally gone.

For now.

—–Chapter 2. —

Tallest Red had just finished bringing a small group of sordid goons to justice, with what you would SWEAR sounded like intense fighting music playing throughout the entire affair. But now all the fighting their criminal bodies did was stain the dusty irken ground beneath them, thunder bombinating above in the darkened sky as if to accentuate how bleak the world suddenly was. BatRed turned himself around, his dark red cape flapping behind him as if the criminals souls were trying to grab onto him as he absconded.

Now – what was Tallest Red doing fighting a bunch of rebels, you may ask. Shouldn't he just continue to just be the now sole source of (organic) authority and making actions occcur by telling OTHERS what to do? Why would he be fighting defectives when he could hire others to do that? And what was with the cape? These are all very good questions.

And the truth was this; ever since the death of Tallest Purple, Tallest Red went through a significant change. And that was to ensure that defectives and rebels wouldn't get to such a stage that it would cause such a fight like what had happened as little as 2 irk years ago, and the only way to make SURE of this was to hunt them down HIMSELF. After-all, everyone already knew how great and strong of an irken he was. He was more than capable of doing this on his own.

And with every enemy removed, it only heightened his desire for vengeance.

BatRed had almost absconded the area when he felt a little tug at his cape, and he turned around, a tiny irken pulling at it with a large wad of data in her hand. Although she was much shorter than he expected, and they…did have a little stigma around irkens this side, the worried expression on her face said it all. And it wasn't like a hero than to ignore a citizen.

"Yes?" He asked, looking down at her.

Dax cleared her throat, and looked down at her data for a moment. Whoa, this was the first time she had ever seen a hero like this in PERSON, and he had ACKNOWLEDGED HER TOO. This was great great great great great and after she told him about the scary data she had found out she could gush about meeting THE BatRed to all her friends and —- oh yeah, she should probably tell him first.

Dax lifted her head so she could take a better look at him when she spoke.

"Ok ok ok ok, BatRed! Hiiii! I'm Dax but but you probably didn't want to know that but ANYWAY, I'M A GHOST DATA FACILITATOR AND YOU /HAVE/ TO READ WHAT I FOUND OUT! IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT." Her voice was a mix between excitement and worry. It wasn't everyday that you heard something as shocking as this from her very real occupation.

"BUT BUT BUT I was talking to some ghosts earlier, and and you know that attack on callnowia earlier? From an unknown source with the only clue being a luminescent slime being left on some of the equipment? Well guess WHAT. THAT WAS FROM A GHOST REBEL GROUP, AND I HEARD THEY WERE GOING TO TRY THIS AGAIN!"

BatRed felt his cold and serious composture snap a little bit at the news and he frowned through his awesomely cool mask as he replied. It had to be Lard Nar.

He didn't really reply in a lot of words though, which might have struck a few as odd. Wouldn't someone as into protecting the empire as he was get worked up about it? And answer with a whole bunch of words that seemed to run into each other in his frenzy? But..he didn't really need to. Because his actions weren't going to change even if he didn't talk at all.

He was going to get those ghosts!

"I'll make sure that won't happen Dax. You can bet every single doughnut I have on it." And with that, he was gone.

—Chapter 3 —–

Ghost Lard nar stroked his chin in thought, his ectoplasm coated hands rubbing against his jagged scar that he had gained from his literally killing blow. It was probably about a week since him and Schloonkey Conewinn (who was a girl for some reason) had tried to destroy Callnowia, with little to show for it. Somehow, inside knowledge had been gained from SOMEWHERE and had stopped them after they destroyed only 20 packages, and that 'hero' BatRed had appeared. Ghost Lard nar didn't see him much as a hero though. More like a nusiance. Didn't BatRed realize that what he was doing was the right thing? DIDN'T HE SEE THAT DESTROYING IRK WOULD BE BETTER FOR EVERYONE? No, he did not.

Because ghost Lard nar was a vortian, and stupid. Just because vort was repurposed didn't mean that he destroyed a planet much better in every way out of spite. And anyway, total universal domination from operation impending doom II was only INEVITABLE. VORT WAS BOUND TO HAVE BEEN REPORUPOSED EVENTUALLY. Ghost lard nar was folding his arms as tightly as he could (while silently humming the song of 'I'm a barbie girl) silently to himself, before Schloonky passed in front of him, knocking him over. It…seemed that being a ghost still didn't do anything to help her lack of arms. Or a lot of things. She was pretty much the same Shloonky.

Lard nar's data files flew out of his arms I'm an instant (which he would TOTALLY have — who would think of a plan without writing data files on them?), and they floated away into the space behind him. Lard nar quickly flew backwards and grabbed a hold of them, keeping the files tightly in his arms.

"You shouldn't do that! These are all my plans to get rid of Irk! You know —the planet that DESTROYED MY OWN!" Schloonky responded to this by brushing it off completely, and tried to kiss him. Lard nar just pushed her away and sighed.

"Hooow about you SING something boss! Youuu like that barbie song, don't you? I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WORLD. MADE OF PLASTIC, IT'S FANTASTIC~~~." Lard Nar would spend the rest of the day trying to calm the loud cone girl down.

"OK, STOP SINGING. OK, FINE, I'LL SING IT." Lard Nar finally cracked. "But ONLY if you help me figure out the next plan!" Shloonky Conewinn and Lard Nar then proceeded to sing the most brilliantly off-tune version of 'I'm a barbie girl' for the next 2 hours. Lard nar was trying to hide it but, it was obvious that he absolutely loved wasting his time singing that.

Eventually, the singing stopped.

"So about this plan." He started. "I was thinking, maybe we could attack something of significance? You know, something that'll totally send a big enough message to that BatRed out there." They were still evil.

"OOoo, I like babies. Babies are cute!" Shloonkey chimed in.

"No no no, I don't want to talk about bab—wait. Babies, smeets. WHAT IF WE ATTACK THE SMEETERIES. I CAN USE MY INSIDE KNOWLEDGE OF IRK'S TECHNOLOGY AND STUFF TO GIVE US AN ADVANTAGE LIKE WE DON'T HAVE ON CALLNOWIA."

"Thats sooooo goood boss. YEW NEED TO BRING ME ALONG! DO IT DO IT DO IT." Lard nar rolled his eyes.

"Of course we're going. Now let's GO BEFORE BATRED FIGURES THIS OUT."

—Chapter 4 —-

Lard Nar and Shloonky hovered outside the entrance to Irk's smeetery, blending in with underground background by way of their transparent bodies. Being a ghost had their upsides, except for the fact that they were dead.

But it certainly let them slip through the control brains defences. There wasn't many defence mechanisms figured out yet that protected the place – or ANYTHING from ghosts. Once they were inside, lard nar started fiddling with numerous cameras, using his inside knowledge of technology to change them to project a holographic helping hand. It was PERFECT! They were properly in.

But not good for Irk — or the unhatched smeets, for that matter. The control-brains started projecting a bat symbol onto the clouds.

Luckily enough for everyone, Tallest Red was actually in the middle of purchasing some rather nifty 'ghost busting equipment' when the bat signal caught the irkens peripheral. Red quickly left the shop and quickly changed into his batsuit, speeding in the direction of the smeeteries. He already knew what he had to do.

BatRed flew down into the smeeteries (or rather, just used a lot of his technology to APPEAR as if he was doing so — BatRed didn't really have any superpowers apart from being cool in every way), kicking the door open with a crash. He…technically COULD have waited until the control brain opened the door for him, but there was NO TIME! A milisecond of extra time was CRUCIAL when it came to defeating villians.

Lard Nar was hiding in the corner beside one of the hacked cameras, and clicked a button, figures immediately flickering into BatRed's vision. And oh IRK, those ghosts things were EVERYWHERE.

BatRed immediately flew into action, giving a few decent punches through the holograms. You could tell by just the expression of his face that he was VERY interested in stopping these.

Lard Nar saw this distraction as an opening, and he eyed the blackout button on the ceiling, a scarred grin reaching across his whole face. This was IT! This was his CHANCE TO FINALLY DO IT. Put an end to what he was severly misinformed as thinking as tyranical end to this empire.

If Lard nar were alive, his stomach would be filling up with what felt like flittering creatures trapped inside from excitement. This was IT. HE JUST HAD TO FLY A LITTLE HIGHER WHEN THEY WERE DISTRACTED AND –Oh wait OH "NO SHLOONKY DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!"

Lard nar felt him hurtle through the air, and in a desperate bid to stop him from becoming completely engulfed by the limitless irken ground underneath it he focused his energy on becoming tangible. The now invisible boss reached out a hand to grab something…ANYTHING until he managed to grab hold of a large wirey tube , and clinged onto it for his dear afterlife. But what he had failed to notice was this wire actually belonged to an unborn smeet tube. The momentum managed to drag the entire thing away from it's location, and the whole thing broke open on the floor in a very audible crash. BatRed looked at the spilling green liquid on the ground.

Now he knew knew where they were.

"Hey!" shouted BatRed. "You can't do that, STOP MESSING WITH THE SMEETS."

The ghost stuck his tongue out at him. "Well, what are you doing? I just need to get revenge on you DESTROYING MY PLANET BY GETTING RID OF YOURS FIRST!" The obviously misinformed Lard Nar.

"AND You're stupid and your planet SUCKS like um sucky. ..gross..things. JUST PRETEND IT SOUNDED OFFENSIVE."

BatRed narrowed his eyes. It seemed as if they were going to have to fight.

—- Chapter 5 —-

The fight lasted for hours, tangible punches being made to the dead goat by way of his ectoplasm covered ghost - gloves, with lard nar only being able to fight back because of his newly (Ok, 2 irk year newly) acquired ghost powers. Until…it struck him. This room was filled with ghostly holograms, wouldn't it just be as easily to pass through one then pass it off as him? Lard nar would have slapped himself in the forehead of not for the fact that he was BUSY FIGHTING BATRED.

Lard nar quickly flew one of the holograms before he began his ascent to the ceiling. Quick, quick quick quick quick press the button and why did it only appear when there were actual irkens in the room and OH NO BATRED WAS STARING RIGHT AT YOU BUT YOU'VE GOT YOU'RE FINGER ON THE THING SO YOU'VE PRETTY MUCH WON YOU'VE /WON/ AND – wait, what was that?

The sound of a miniature feet scuttling with about 100 meows entered the room, and CatSea held her huge multicoloured cat gun over her shoulder as she stared right in his eyes. Her eyes were browned with determination.

"I would say some witty banter or a pun about buttons." She started, narrowing her eyes at the ghostly goon, "But I'm not good at this stuff on the fly!"

And with that, CatSea pulled down the pink trigger that was stylized to look like a cat - tail, her secret weapon flying straight at his face.

A ghost cat.

Shloonky Conewinn was in the corner watching all this unfold, and as Lard nar flew backwards with the ghost latched on tightly to his face she flew over in an attempt to help.

"WAIT BOSS. I'LL SAVE YOUUUUU" She didn't really. Shloonkey just started attacking his and the ghost cat's (And and and it would TOTALLY be called kispy by the way Sea! Coast and stuff are cool too but but but I like kispy the best! AND IF I EVER FIND A GHOST CAT I'M CALLING THEM THAT) face with a whole bunch of kisses. Lard nar tried in vain to fight them both off.

Now was BatRed's chance. Since BatRed ALREADY had a height advantage with this (with being the Tallest and all), all BatRed did was used his batlike skills to jump and glide over to the button, tearing the thing from the wall from with his sheer strength. The button was no more….

But, why such a fuss over a button? Why was ghost Lard nar so INTO it? Why do such an elaborate plan just to grab it? Why was there a security measure that ensured that you only got it when you entered the room? WHAT DID IT EVEN DO?

And those questions were all easily answered with a single answer; the button controlled the power for the entire cloning machines. And if lard nar pressed this and somehow prevented it from being turned back on again, an entire new facility would have to be made. That…wasn't exactly something that Irk needed.

Lard nar eventually got CatSea's ghost cat off his face, and he floated up wobbily, his hands out in front of him as if he was somehow able to fight BatRed without proper control over his ghost powers. Right now, he was like drink - flying from the shock.

BatRed quickly fiddled with his cape, taking out a rather small looking…hover device, and he stared right into the dead goat in the eyes.

He could already see his nerves.

"This had gone long ENOUGH. LARD NAR, YOU ARE GOING TO GO IN HERE FOREVER!" BatRed pressed one of the buttons on the device and Lard Nar could FEEL himself getting sucked in, BatRed now putting the full device back into one if the hidden cloak departments. He would never use that device again.

But now, that were finally defeated.

CatSea was jumping up and down while hugging Kispy in the background. Both their eyes were a bright blue.

—-Chapter 6—

It had been only a couple of weeks since the heroic saving of the smeeteries, and only about a week since he had to stop being BatRed..For a now anyway. Directly bringing those to justice was a little hard when he was leading Irk AND THE MASSIVE TOWARDS NEW PLANETS by his own. The ordinary irkens would have to rely on irken legal system rather than him.

One of Purple's pens suddenly floated in front of him, swaying his mind momentarily from the topic. Irk, he still missed that guy. Even though he had been dead for a little while now, he still couldn't shake off the feeling that something was missing. Which there was.

It…would be easier if Tallest Purple was back. But it was impossible…right? No, wait, he STILL had the ghost if lard nar in a locked up drawer here, and ghosts obviously we're real. Hmmmm, was there a way? Didn't he meet that irken with a totally real occupation of a ghost data facilitator?

Could he facilitate bringing back ghosts?

….

He was going to call her.

Dax was surprised by her computers sudden ringing, and she accepted the call, putting her hands over her mouth in shock when she saw who it was. Whoa, wait, Tallest Red? Why was HE calling her? And why did she get the weird suspicion that she had totally met him before. Dax shrugged this off, and waved at the really great and amazing Tallest by waving her hand really really fast. This was definitely the best way to greet him.

"Hey hey hey hey, Tallest Red! What are YOU doing here! ! And ooo,.that looks like you're on the massive! Are you on the massive! That's so COOL!"

Once he asked her about bringing back ghost Tallest Purple she grinned, accepting his request. But there was a catch; Tallest purple would be a GHOST.

Obviously, Tallest Red thought this was totally cool which is why he didn't even have to process This for less than a millisecond.

Eventually, Dax had managed to source and talk to the ghost of purple, and with a couple of tweaks to a ghost iffifier ghost purple was standing in front of her. After Dax made a call back to them, the ghost waw transported to the massive immediately.

There were 2 Tallest's again.

Tallest purple made his way to a donut only for it to pass straight through him. He frowned. Sadly.


End file.
